Pray, Walk, and Love | Protecion Mi Vida (Protect My Life)

 Hello Friends, 

Yes, I know I have done my short mind speaks on my IG story and told myself it needs to be longer
again. This may be a week's update or 2 two-week updates for myself and to you my friends as well Let's see how it goes and I just want to keep my sane in a stable condition.

Lately I have been soaking myself into prayers and from time to time giving up something just to par myself in what I am contemplating. Yes, I am still in the process of healing and status wise I am doing just fine despite those hiccups that surprise me. I will take time and healing is not just one snap like Thanos who just snaps the world in one of the Avengers movies. Healing is somewhat a process of acceptance and surrender to the will of God and letting him do the work. He may not let you see what
he is doing behind the scenes but he is fully in the works. 

Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I am in the process of healing. I cannot say to you that I am fully in tiptop shape but I am still working on it together with our Father, our Brother, and our Mother the Our Lady. Just a month and a half ago I am being so close with Our Lady. Since the day I started holding on to the rosary and prayed everyday I felt the love of Our Lady. I clung to her during the stormy season of my life and from then on she took care of me up to this date. I never felt the tremendous love of Our Lady after finishing the 33 days of Morning Glory on Hallow. Our Lady gave me peace and hope that everything will be fine and everything will be answered according to her true spouse our Father God. I never felt so much love of Our Lady. 

Aside from this alongside the rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet was also another foundation of my passion and love for Jesus. I have seen their both hearts and their love is so profound that I could not resist to pray the both prayers as frequently as I can be. 

Recently I got a chance to see a relic of St. Anthony of Padua in downtown Toronto where it fascinates me and for me it is a great blessing seeing another relic of a Saint all the way from the place of its origin. What struck me the most during my veneration was during the mass where after the homily Padre Fabiano of the Franciscan Friars explained how the relics that we venerate connects us to God. To cut the explanation short he told the attendees that these relics are part of the mortals who live their lives in accordance to the will of God and true Christian to the many.  After the veneration, I decided to visit 3 more churches and head home. It was a pleasant day that time and I was happy to see another guy friend who was also there to see the relic. 

Since that I have stated that I am healing from 3 aspects of my life this time, my physical aspect has been attacked. I am currently experiencing severe pain from my mid back to upper back. I can feel that my spine is hurting at all. It all started at work where it's beyond my scope to shovel a wet sand. I was just being asked by one of my managers to help her out by cleaning the playpen of daycare. They were power washing it and in the afternoon this manager was still power washing them and as she power washed the sand I had to shovel the wet sand.

After 4 days of agony I decided to rush myself to the hospital. It was a great choice of mine. Despite the long wait in the system I am still getting the right care (I think) to get this back check. During my visit to the Emergency Department somewhere in York Region (Yes, we do have a hospital here where I live but I still trust the York Region Hospital) it really hit me so hard that I really need to look after myself. I like the way that one of my colleagues preached to me like my mom at work where she reminded me that our workplace doesn't care about your health. Also one of my co-workers keeps on telling me that I am too nice for this job. 

As I contemplated on this matter, this made me fully understand that I have to protect myself from my workplace since some companies just treat you being a number and can be replaced from time to time. Also health is wealth I should say. I love my colleagues. They are constantly reminding me that sometimes I have to stand up for myself and protect myself. As this season goes, I have been contemplating my life and asking myself why is this happening to me? What is the true plan behind this. I do not want to question God at all cause I know this back pain is my own fault for not saying no to the work. I am now asking myself why I do not protect myself from work that is not the scope of my work or capacity. It's just too much I should say.  

I am now contemplating as to this moment if childcare has something to do with my scope of line as an SSW. Don't get me wrong I love working with kids and it is still the passion that I have within my heart. Despite that I complain a lot with my work I can still see somewhat the future of this generation if us adults help them to mould their true identity by guiding them in the right path. I am just contemplating the work that needs to be done aside from the main plate. I know I always say for the kids but this time I really have to protect myself. Sometimes I feel that I am not appreciated by this manager or not at all. I never heard her say thank you for helping out or saying can you please help us out. 

Like what one of my good friends from the school board is always telling me "This world is so broken that people don't know the meaning of compassion, love, and treating others right". I find it a true statement these days. Being a teacher is a fulfilling job but dealing with other adults is sometimes dreadful. Sometimes how I wish to be a kid again but life must go on as these experiences throw to us. 

As of this moment a lot of things are still sinking in to me, There are  times that I am still considering being in an isolated area just to ease all the pain and suffering that I am experiencing. I am just getting tired but I know there's a reason for this journey that I am taking. I know God is working on something for me and I should not give up on this situation and I know He will take care of everything. 

I must admit sometimes it's hard for me to trust Him but rediscovering Him every single time things unfold and I know everything that he reveals to me is in accordance with His timing. His timing is never late or early; it's always perfect. Prayer always conquers fear and faith to the unseen is the greatest thing that I can hold on. 

Until next time or week... Later friends