Forward Ho to Neverland!

Seems to be that 2026 has been a wild ride already, where left and right atrocity has been flying around and questioning myself how I will survive these 8000 years (just joking 8 months). 2025 was like a great ride where great memories were created, where rekindling of friendships became on my bingo card. Moreover, closing some doors that I let it open for years were being shut with the help of my counsel. To add on to this; aside from rekindling the friendships; I have strengthened some of my friendship that has been established when I started a new era of my life. Because of this of era, I have seen somewhat a colourful yet pastel life that I think seems to be bearable to live on (If there will be no disturbance). 

2025 gave me loads of lesson that, I should have learned over the years that I have exists in the working force. Not saying that much, but I am pushing though it. Clearly, I sense that my vision right now is different towards my future, since that this world is not a great playground anymore. This is a matter of how will you spend your chronologic funds to be with your most valued assets? (friends, family, colleagues, etc). I know that monetary funds are also important for our existence, but I just realize that time is more valuable than anything else.  

Clearly, most people that I have encounters with some educators who value to keep their seniority towards student reviews and all the nine yards, but I have been contemplating that if I am on their shoes should I worry about it or be with my students engage with them let them speak for themselves on how you treat them. I don't want to speak that much since that I am currently an educator as well, trying to be present with the students that I have been encountering every single day. 

I know that I have been ranting at the beginning; despite the ugly start and very pastel past; 2026 gives me a rustic, gentle (in some manner), and rowdy vibes where everything's starts with a bang where winter semester hit me like crazy due to assignments back to back, work giving me somewhat medium firm (sorry I have to reference a tofu here I am out of words apparently) load where my students are good, but I let them explore their capacity as well. Regardless of this mess, there is one beauty that I am looking

forward to, and that is my 1st promise to the Lay Order of Discalced Carmelite  (aka 3rd Order Carmelite). For those who are just new to my circle, I have been searching for my vocation when I was still in high school. (This will be another entry in the near future.) I am just happy that I found it and looking forward to cherishing every single day of my time in my new-found family. 

I know this is just the first quarter of 2026 and definitely there will be more adventures, more learning, more rekindling, winding roads, close doors and so on. I will just place everything to the one who I am clinging on to, cry on, and remind me to be grounded and humble and that is God. Likewise, I cannot control everything, since time is depleting instantaneously and always being focused on being better with tangible things. Likewise, life is too short and complex, but it's up to you how you will explore the possibilities of life.  You control the ball and there are times you have let God control the ball if you have this mindfulness of you may make things messed up.  I am reaching to this point to tell everyone to touch grass if I did not have his realization of me. 

Anyway, this is just a quarter of an update from me. You will still here more from me if time has given me permission to update. Later! 

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When life throws you lemons make a lemonade....

 

Hello, everyone! 

It's been a while since I have updated this one. I hope everyone is doing well and had a good winter and summer. There are numerous refinements in my life just past that I haven't been sharing with you all.

From career upgrades to educational progress to faith progress and so on. 

After a long run with the YMCA, I have decided to take a leap of faith and move to the school board. Never thought in my life I would become a public servant. It's like what comes goes around. Both of my parents worked for the government in the Philippines for quite some time, especially my dad. Just a fun fact, on my dad's side, grandparents worked for the government as well, even my aunts and uncles. Furthermore, on both parents sides, some of them are educators. Here I am working for the education sector, and I feel so fulfilled with this. To be honest with you all, sometimes my patience is running low, but I just think that these kids, especially the special needs adults, have compassion and empathy towards them. This is what I always tell the people that I have conversations with about this work that we are doing: "I love dealing with kids; kids are kids, they don't know what they are doing." However, I am appalled at how the parents are dealing with them and making us educators bad and not doing our work. 

To cut to the chase, I am happy that I have found the place that I may be staying for a longer period of time. Yes, there are various works that I could've considered; however, I have reasons why I have chosen this sector that I could join, but I chose this sector to pour out my time, effort, and compassion towards these kids. 

Probably most of you were aware that last fall semester I jumped back to upgrade my diploma into a full-fledged degree. Lo and behold, I am almost there to snatch that degree. I was being told by our financial aid that with 15 more credits to go, I'll be graduating soon, approximately in fall 2026 (God willing). I am still in awe and comprehending this matter that I am almost there, that I can put BSW at the end of my name. Yes, I know some of you are telling me that I am an insane person doing both full-time work and full-time school. Well, all I can say is that it's all about the balance and determination of hitting two birds with one stone. It may be hard at first, but you will get used to it. I may have flaws sporadically, but all I can say is this is just a stepping stone for me. Nothing in this world is as swift as when you get your food from a fast food place or grocery store; rather, it will always be a race that sometimes you win, but sometimes you lose. 

As I continue reminiscing about these professional changes in my life, it seems that despite all the darkest odds that I have experienced in this wild ride, I am still surviving with this mayhem. Internal bruises and wounds are being patched up with prayer, being with close friends, community, or most of the days just being alone to rejuvenate my aching soul and mind. If I can just share my experiences right now with my work over here, I can't, since it's confidential and this is still a public sphere that can be seen by many despite that I have just shared it with you, who are in my direct circle. In my own perspective right now, school and work are both professional growth since these two intertwine with one another. Likewise, this may be a private blog, and we don't know how the internet works these days, especially some of the corporations and their current HR minions will try their best to find us on Social Media. 

As for my faith journey, I am almost halfway towards my first vow with the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. With all honesty here, despite that there are challenges sporadically with some commitments, I am still at peace with this decision that I have made with this vocation that I chose. This may be likewise a random yet quick call from the Lord, but I am joyful with this and enjoying striving even closer to God and enjoying the silence that sometimes, for some, may be boring, but for me, it's not. Like what other people said, "Different journey, different outcome in life." We may have different boats to journey on, but our main goal is to arrive at one common destination... Heaven, where there is no more pain, sorrow, and regrets in life. 

As for my whole being, well, to be honest, as the time passes by, I am acquiring some habits that I just neglected for a long time, such as reading books or listening to audiobooks. Definitely, some of you will ask what kind of genre you are into right now. Well, I am more into things related to my field, where most of them are about how to deal with people and, at the same time, self-help as well. I am not into fictional books; rather, I prefer philosophy, biography, and something that can help me to grow as a person. However, these days there are times that I feel that regret is relatively visiting me. There are times that I wish I never met this person who broke my heart. It's like there are times that I still blame myself for the situation, but what can I do? It's already done. Likewise, it's been more than a year. I know healing takes time and effort on my part to move on, and moving on is not an overnight situation. Partially, the anger is still in my heart, but I keep asking God to guide me along the way and empower the people who surround me to uplift me. I am just glad that God sends people that I can be comfortable with to share life and listen to them. I am still blessed enough to have my counsellor for my mental health. Honestly, whatever it takes, he is the best one that I had. 

I am still rising above and continuing to work on myself and exploring things that I have not explored yet. I know things are still coming, and I am still viewing other possibilities that can happen as I continue my journey here on earth. Likewise, on each island of life that I sail on, there will be new adventures that I will encounter and be mesmerized by. 

I am not promising that I will be posting anytime soon, but I will keep updating you sporadically. Life needs focus, and this world these days is something else. In today's society, when you lose your focus, your whole ball game will lose its momentum. Every minute, every second matters these days, especially with my professional changes in life. If I pose again, I will for sure make you aware on my Instagram. If you are not on my Instagram, I will send you the link if I have your number. 

Until here then...

The Rising of the Phoenix

 

Hey Everyone! How's going? I know it's been awhile since I have spoken my mind. Life got busy lately, and numerous changes happened in my life. It's been a year since the day that I experienced the bitterness of the reality where I thought I found love but not. It's been a year since that I strive to rise above the bitterness and turn myself into somewhat a crazy ass lady who just wants to keep myself busy and stay close to my friends that I have created. Friends that I have retained for many years that always got my back. Furthermore, the transition to a newer boat for my career just happened.

It's so crazy how God moves me in mysterious ways, where he always puts people in my life where they will make you seen and make you important. I am so blessed enough that I gained new friends who are my neighbour (I have been friends with them since last year and honestly, they are a wonderful couple that I ever met and became part of my friend circle). Just makes me feel somewhat I belong to a great community that I never felt before. Currently, I feel freer since the day I have decided to jump to off the bigger boat and sail off to see new opportunities for my life. I know some people are asking me: “Do you regret taking this leap of faith?” My answer to this is “No”. I never regret this leap of faith that I have done for myself. 

I am so thankful for some people who supported me in this leap of faith, and I will be forever grateful for them. As of my current situation of my education, I am still thriving with my studies. I passed my 2nd year university and currently taking a summer semester to do some courses that are required and filler courses that needed for graduation. To be honest, I thought work-school balance is difficult to do, however little by little I am getting the grind of it. I know there will be times that I have to sacrifices things to just make everything work. As crazy as it is, I can still juggle volunteering in my local parish and other things that I have been part of. But I know my boundaries that I need to do from time to time. 

Despite all this, there are times it lingers in my mind, and it pains me when I am alone. However, there are times that lingers when I am trying to leave as normal as I can be. I remember there was a day this friend of mine saw my somewhat my train was off the tracks. Well, I have tried to lie to her, but I feel bad about it.  But don't worry, the following day I told her what's up with my insane mind. Lo and behold, her words of wisdom speak volumes towards that agony lingers in my mind. To be honest, it gave me a great relief when I blurted out to her and gave me a self-reflection to ponder on. Because of her words of wisdom, I am going through again trying to fight this demon within and rise above like a phoenix that just came out from the ashes. 

Honestly, it just almost half of the year and plenty of things happen, blessings upon blessing are coming. Thankful for having new friends, regaining connection with old friends and, lastly, my faith is getting stronger despite shortcomings that have, I can still feel the love of God by sending people will mould me for who I am. I know that there will be more to come, and I know the people that I have right now I got their support and, of course, the faith that I have will be the beacon and my guide. 

More to come for the update, may be not that frequent, but I will make sure that will keep you posted. 

Until here then

Obladi Obladah Life Goes On Brah!

Hi Friends,

I know it's been awhile since the last update. I am currently trying to be more in the quiet mode rather than being loud on my SocMed these days. I know some of you are following me on my public IG where mostly I am loudly sharing our Catholic faith. That's the only thing that I can be loud about right now.

As of this moment, I am finding myself that I enjoyed more silent time than having noise that surrounds me. I get easily tired and irritated when I am tired. I know you will say we are on the same boat; but this is different. I want to be alone after a long day with people. I enjoy pondering life when I am in a quiet place with no music, nothing where I can hear only the pure silence that I want as of this moment. As I continue my discernment process with my chosen congregation to live by, I am trying to wrestle with my own thoughts where there are things that fly in my mind, some of them are negative thoughts where I am trying to fight back with good things that come into my head where I am thankful for. 

Recently, I am blessed enough to find my vocation calling where I have finally said yes to the vocation that I am looking for where I finally signed my application to the congregation that I discern in front of my chosen friends who will be journeying with me. Also, I was blessed by another vocation that I still need to discern profoundly as I continue my discernment with my first vocation. As far as I remember when I had a discussion with my spiritual director during my silent retreat about the other vocation that has been bestow to me that there are saints who answered a call within a call like St. Theresa of Calcutta. 

Also, I am still in season of waiting again since I am healing from the wounds that I have right now. I know I have to let go fully to be healed completely this is why I am completely surrendering everything under the Our Lady's hands and thanking her for lending him to be part of my journey. To be honest, it is still hard for me but as I contemplate on things, I know there will be far greater is waiting for me. I am still in verge of crying but I prefer to counter it with gratitude where I am grateful that I have him as my friend. This is again another lesson for me to discipline myself about the art of patience. Fair enough that I became impatient again this is why God put me again on the waiting season.

I hate to say this but I am humbly admitting it that from time to time that I am being impatient as well to myself and negativity will power through over me; however I am thanking God for giving me the gift of perseverance that I have to push through and think all the blessings that I am receiving from him. I am humbly to say that I am weak and frail deep within. I am broken and shattered into pieces. I was lost and cannot see the light but because of Our Mother who pulled my out to the darkness, I can see again the beauty of waiting despite of the storm that I am going through. The Our Lady saved me from the rock bottom that I went through. I am thankful for those people who was being send to me in times of my darkness.

Aside from this one great blessing, another blessing came through that I cannot still imagine. This time I am going back to school. Yes! You have heard it right, I am an incoming university student. After a long search for university and right people to ask what university is the best when it becomes to Bachelors degree for Social Work, I found one already where this university offers an Indigenous approach to your skills. This is why I am joyful enough that I am here again tackling a whole new world of studying.

This will be another #challengeaccepted for me where I'll be continuing to work at the YMCA and at the same time studying. I know I have a lot of goals during my studies but this time I will aim high and prove that there is no hindrances that will block me in my studies. I know there will be struggles and need to learn how to juggle my time in various commitments that I have on my plate.

God is truly listening; yes, like what I have said on my past entries that I questioned God where is He and why he let me go through the toughest pain that I have experienced. I felt the dryness, emptiness, and loneliness; but because of a song by LeeLand reminded me that He never stop working for you even when you are in your lowest part of your life.

True status of my heart, I am still healing, I am still working on myself and enjoying the life that I have right now. Doing a me time in Downtown Toronto became my thing again recently despite it is far from me. I am just grateful that I have great friends that I can count on and ready to listen to me.

Until next time...

Ode to Silence

Hello Friends, 

I know this is a weird time for me to post on a weekday and good thing it is a holiday today that I can write my thoughts, I should say a little bit of noise in my head. 

Current state of my whole being: Physically: Healing| Emotionally and Mentally: Still healing and looking for better days are ahead| Spiritually: Amazing Grace. 

It's almost two months that I am stilling through this storm that I am facing through there are still ups and downs, overthinking still prevail but I am catching myself and divert myself to something else but I am still thankful that my faith keeps me grounded. To be honest, there are still time that I am crying when I hear things that reminds me of him. Sometimes I just pause and pray for him just to ease this longings. 

I know God has truly have a great plan for the both of us separately and it's really a great season of waiting for me again. God really wants me to wait for that perfect time. My heart is still crying but I know God gave me a great call that I have to answer. This past week I had somewhat isolate myself to the world where I just want to be with God and silence myself. Before this happen, I was being called to set myself apart from the world while doing apostolic work. At first I was so scared to say yes to this call, like I have to discern it so well if that is really Him or just myself being me as a human. Fear prevail my whole being, where goosebumps kicked in when I got the form and I cannot believe that this is happening. It took me time to fill the form in just to write my name and sign it. 

I know that I have said that I have isolated myself to the world for a week not messaging just reading

my ebook, using my phone as my prayer book and so on. I was blessed that I have a guide over that week to just keep me grounded with my decision that would change my life forever. Low and behold, as I read the life of this Carmelite saint, a lot of strong and calming reassurance that I have received from God, the Our Lady and from Christ our brother. Midweek I had signed my spiritual contract to my Holy family that I am giving away my "Yes" to the call that they want me to do. Also this weekend as well, I have finally signed my physical form in front of my chosen friends who I know from my heart will give me counsel as I embark this journey. To be honest, my soul and spirit is rejoicing that I have finally found my call as a long time discerner for vocation. Also, God gave me another grace to answer another vocation that we complete my whole being as a woman.It will take time again since I need to heal from the pain that I have experienced and I can sense that one of the Franciscan Saints is watching me as well since every time that I go to the church I randomly see a yellow flower beside him or somewhere that there is a sacramental. I can really feel that God is really working double time.

To be honest with you my friends, I am currently joyful that I have found my first calling that I can serve him as a Religious Lay and the other one well I am still waiting for that season. I must really admit that I never felt that true love from a man who really knows to love a person like me and letting me for being who I am. I never became vulnerable to a man that I just met for a short while and it's like I know him forever when I became vulnerable. I will treasure the days that he let me cry in front of him, telling my childhood days, my family and so on. I don't want to lie but I truly miss him already and I still love him. I know there's a purpose of our parting ways but I just letting God to take care of everything. I know someday, somehow either God will grant my heart desire or he is preparing me for something better. 

As of this moment, as I write this; I am shedding my tears again. I thought I will be done crying but my heart still longs for him. I know some of you who talks to me in person will say it's okay you are hurt and you felt true love. There's a reason why you two cross the road. I am trying to be strong as I can be but there are times that I really need to shed it again. I am weak but my faith gave me steadfastness and without you who knows me personally especially who speaks to me in person I would be carrying my life on. 

Just keep me in your prayers and I also keep you all in my prayers. 

Until next time again

Pray, Walk, and Love | Protecion Mi Vida (Protect My Life)

 Hello Friends, 

Yes, I know I have done my short mind speaks on my IG story and told myself it needs to be longer
again. This may be a week's update or 2 two-week updates for myself and to you my friends as well Let's see how it goes and I just want to keep my sane in a stable condition.

Lately I have been soaking myself into prayers and from time to time giving up something just to par myself in what I am contemplating. Yes, I am still in the process of healing and status wise I am doing just fine despite those hiccups that surprise me. I will take time and healing is not just one snap like Thanos who just snaps the world in one of the Avengers movies. Healing is somewhat a process of acceptance and surrender to the will of God and letting him do the work. He may not let you see what
he is doing behind the scenes but he is fully in the works. 

Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I am in the process of healing. I cannot say to you that I am fully in tiptop shape but I am still working on it together with our Father, our Brother, and our Mother the Our Lady. Just a month and a half ago I am being so close with Our Lady. Since the day I started holding on to the rosary and prayed everyday I felt the love of Our Lady. I clung to her during the stormy season of my life and from then on she took care of me up to this date. I never felt the tremendous love of Our Lady after finishing the 33 days of Morning Glory on Hallow. Our Lady gave me peace and hope that everything will be fine and everything will be answered according to her true spouse our Father God. I never felt so much love of Our Lady. 

Aside from this alongside the rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet was also another foundation of my passion and love for Jesus. I have seen their both hearts and their love is so profound that I could not resist to pray the both prayers as frequently as I can be. 

Recently I got a chance to see a relic of St. Anthony of Padua in downtown Toronto where it fascinates me and for me it is a great blessing seeing another relic of a Saint all the way from the place of its origin. What struck me the most during my veneration was during the mass where after the homily Padre Fabiano of the Franciscan Friars explained how the relics that we venerate connects us to God. To cut the explanation short he told the attendees that these relics are part of the mortals who live their lives in accordance to the will of God and true Christian to the many.  After the veneration, I decided to visit 3 more churches and head home. It was a pleasant day that time and I was happy to see another guy friend who was also there to see the relic. 

Since that I have stated that I am healing from 3 aspects of my life this time, my physical aspect has been attacked. I am currently experiencing severe pain from my mid back to upper back. I can feel that my spine is hurting at all. It all started at work where it's beyond my scope to shovel a wet sand. I was just being asked by one of my managers to help her out by cleaning the playpen of daycare. They were power washing it and in the afternoon this manager was still power washing them and as she power washed the sand I had to shovel the wet sand.

After 4 days of agony I decided to rush myself to the hospital. It was a great choice of mine. Despite the long wait in the system I am still getting the right care (I think) to get this back check. During my visit to the Emergency Department somewhere in York Region (Yes, we do have a hospital here where I live but I still trust the York Region Hospital) it really hit me so hard that I really need to look after myself. I like the way that one of my colleagues preached to me like my mom at work where she reminded me that our workplace doesn't care about your health. Also one of my co-workers keeps on telling me that I am too nice for this job. 

As I contemplated on this matter, this made me fully understand that I have to protect myself from my workplace since some companies just treat you being a number and can be replaced from time to time. Also health is wealth I should say. I love my colleagues. They are constantly reminding me that sometimes I have to stand up for myself and protect myself. As this season goes, I have been contemplating my life and asking myself why is this happening to me? What is the true plan behind this. I do not want to question God at all cause I know this back pain is my own fault for not saying no to the work. I am now asking myself why I do not protect myself from work that is not the scope of my work or capacity. It's just too much I should say.  

I am now contemplating as to this moment if childcare has something to do with my scope of line as an SSW. Don't get me wrong I love working with kids and it is still the passion that I have within my heart. Despite that I complain a lot with my work I can still see somewhat the future of this generation if us adults help them to mould their true identity by guiding them in the right path. I am just contemplating the work that needs to be done aside from the main plate. I know I always say for the kids but this time I really have to protect myself. Sometimes I feel that I am not appreciated by this manager or not at all. I never heard her say thank you for helping out or saying can you please help us out. 

Like what one of my good friends from the school board is always telling me "This world is so broken that people don't know the meaning of compassion, love, and treating others right". I find it a true statement these days. Being a teacher is a fulfilling job but dealing with other adults is sometimes dreadful. Sometimes how I wish to be a kid again but life must go on as these experiences throw to us. 

As of this moment a lot of things are still sinking in to me, There are  times that I am still considering being in an isolated area just to ease all the pain and suffering that I am experiencing. I am just getting tired but I know there's a reason for this journey that I am taking. I know God is working on something for me and I should not give up on this situation and I know He will take care of everything. 

I must admit sometimes it's hard for me to trust Him but rediscovering Him every single time things unfold and I know everything that he reveals to me is in accordance with His timing. His timing is never late or early; it's always perfect. Prayer always conquers fear and faith to the unseen is the greatest thing that I can hold on. 

Until next time or week... Later friends

Only Time Will Tell

Hello Friends, 

I know I have start my somewhat a "Black Elk" Speaks style on my personal IG and I want to continue it here. I don't know how speak my head out on my other blog but I need somewhat another space just to clear my head from some noise that my head. I know have started one but that's a different ball game for me. This one is somewhat just like literally me speaking under the name of Andromeda. I will be still continuing my speaks on my IG but if I want it to be longer it will be here in this blog. I will still try to figure it out how to make this a private one. 

How to say this thing that has been going on in my life specially emotional, mental, social, economical(?).  Likewise my last month was not a good time for me where I have to endure it and sit on it for a little while. Tears has been shed, mental health suffered where I was on my lowest my low. I tried distracting myself but my emotions took over my well being that some of my activities had suffered. Sleepless nights, overthinking prevails and so on. I got hold off my counsellor but I have to bother him a lot of times to get resources just to control my insanity. My insanity wise went high that I have to use a contact centre just to prevent my negative thoughts of losing my precious life. Likewise I am grateful to have a counsellor that was really on the ball helping me out to get out of this misery. 

Also, I am grateful to some great friends who supported me to get through the hell that they let me cry, pull me out made me busy and made me talk about what's going on in my head. It helped me a lot to pass through this storm and keep my insanity calm. Despite of the storm, deep ocean, thunder and the calamity that I experience my soul and spirit did not give up clinging on my faith. To be honest I hit the rockbottom of my spiritual life where I could not feel God, I could not feel Him despite I worship him through music, visiting him in the blessed sacrament, personal prayer time and so on. I almost give up my prayer life because of the pain and the emotions overflowing through me. But deep within my heart and an advice from my Spiritual director(s) to keep praying even you don't have any words to say he will understand your heart. For those days of misery, I cling to my prayer life some parts I cannot focus, there are times I just cried and question him why do I have go through this season once again. 

Despite of the storm, God showed me some glimpse of light where reconnecting with some old friends who is also as religious as me. Meeting new people who are devoted to the Our Lady and some of them are part of Lay Monastic congregation. I will not forget the day where my friend invited me to an event somewhere in North York where praise and worship before the Pentecost was a turning point of my storm start to calm down in some point. This is also a the starting point of my vocation journey change where silence gives me joy. 

As this storm passes by, Alberta became like my retreat from the storm that I have. I really need a fresh air to breathe. I am not saying that the air here in Ontario was not good but I need to clear my head up and ponder on the situation. I like the retreat that I did where hiking was a great part of it. Hiking on Mt. Whistler's gave me that realisation that no matter how your storm hits you hard he will be always there for you. I still have a hard time to understand it but I soak myself in routinely prayer time (Both structured and mental) and ask Him to help me to understand the situation. At first I am scared to let go of it but because of a certain Litany and His words to me "Let me take care of everything. I heard you and you have suffered enough. You need rest. Trust me I am working double time here just let my timing work". When I heard this I just told to him Let your will be done. I am done with this life of misery. 

As of this moment, I have surrender myself to the Our Lady where rosary saves my life and every single day am falling in love with the Our Lady. Yes the pain is still within in me but I just offer this pain to the Our Lady and Let her work in me. I know through the Our Lady I will get through with this and I know God is working behind the scene. Yes, I can feel that he is working double time but I will let His plan work. This time I find joy in silence, I find peace in prayers and adoration and I can finally put smile on my face despite it is still hard. I am just looking forward to some things that it is coming up.  

I am still praying for this person no matter what despite of the storm cause I know only prayer can connect us and God has better plans for us individually. Right now, I am focusing on my vocation journey where I need to totally cut some things in my life and add more mental prayers. I must admit that I miss him and I still love him but I know I have to walk again alone but not completely alone but walking with My Mother the Our Lady and with my brother Jesus as I rise above this storm. 

Only time will also tell where I am going next, what will happen next and if he will permit my heart's desire. I know it's only Him can allow this or he will give something far greater. In other words, Let His Will be done. I completely surrender this to Him. 

Please keep me in your prayers as I continue my journey and this journey that I am going probably will not be an easy one but I will more than happy if you could all keep me in your prayers.