Obladi Obladah Life Goes On Brah!

Hi Friends,

I know it's been awhile since the last update. I am currently trying to be more in the quiet mode rather than being loud on my SocMed these days. I know some of you are following me on my public IG where mostly I am loudly sharing our Catholic faith. That's the only thing that I can be loud about right now.

As of this moment, I am finding myself that I enjoyed more silent time than having noise that surrounds me. I get easily tired and irritated when I am tired. I know you will say we are on the same boat; but this is different. I want to be alone after a long day with people. I enjoy pondering life when I am in a quiet place with no music, nothing where I can hear only the pure silence that I want as of this moment. As I continue my discernment process with my chosen congregation to live by, I am trying to wrestle with my own thoughts where there are things that fly in my mind, some of them are negative thoughts where I am trying to fight back with good things that come into my head where I am thankful for. 

Recently, I am blessed enough to find my vocation calling where I have finally said yes to the vocation that I am looking for where I finally signed my application to the congregation that I discern in front of my chosen friends who will be journeying with me. Also, I was blessed by another vocation that I still need to discern profoundly as I continue my discernment with my first vocation. As far as I remember when I had a discussion with my spiritual director during my silent retreat about the other vocation that has been bestow to me that there are saints who answered a call within a call like St. Theresa of Calcutta. 

Also, I am still in season of waiting again since I am healing from the wounds that I have right now. I know I have to let go fully to be healed completely this is why I am completely surrendering everything under the Our Lady's hands and thanking her for lending him to be part of my journey. To be honest, it is still hard for me but as I contemplate on things, I know there will be far greater is waiting for me. I am still in verge of crying but I prefer to counter it with gratitude where I am grateful that I have him as my friend. This is again another lesson for me to discipline myself about the art of patience. Fair enough that I became impatient again this is why God put me again on the waiting season.

I hate to say this but I am humbly admitting it that from time to time that I am being impatient as well to myself and negativity will power through over me; however I am thanking God for giving me the gift of perseverance that I have to push through and think all the blessings that I am receiving from him. I am humbly to say that I am weak and frail deep within. I am broken and shattered into pieces. I was lost and cannot see the light but because of Our Mother who pulled my out to the darkness, I can see again the beauty of waiting despite of the storm that I am going through. The Our Lady saved me from the rock bottom that I went through. I am thankful for those people who was being send to me in times of my darkness.

Aside from this one great blessing, another blessing came through that I cannot still imagine. This time I am going back to school. Yes! You have heard it right, I am an incoming university student. After a long search for university and right people to ask what university is the best when it becomes to Bachelors degree for Social Work, I found one already where this university offers an Indigenous approach to your skills. This is why I am joyful enough that I am here again tackling a whole new world of studying.

This will be another #challengeaccepted for me where I'll be continuing to work at the YMCA and at the same time studying. I know I have a lot of goals during my studies but this time I will aim high and prove that there is no hindrances that will block me in my studies. I know there will be struggles and need to learn how to juggle my time in various commitments that I have on my plate.

God is truly listening; yes, like what I have said on my past entries that I questioned God where is He and why he let me go through the toughest pain that I have experienced. I felt the dryness, emptiness, and loneliness; but because of a song by LeeLand reminded me that He never stop working for you even when you are in your lowest part of your life.

True status of my heart, I am still healing, I am still working on myself and enjoying the life that I have right now. Doing a me time in Downtown Toronto became my thing again recently despite it is far from me. I am just grateful that I have great friends that I can count on and ready to listen to me.

Until next time...